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Not Alone
For V
By Karl, 盏
Waking alone, on this isolated island,
blood, anchoring my body,
sun, evaporating my hope.
Waves, reminding me of my torment.
Circling anxiously,
the crows, hiding their dark feathers in flour*.
Sharpening their scalpel,
flooding me with pills.
I heard their cries,
dark and cold.
Plundering into my flesh,
Waiting for their feast to begin.
But am I truly alone?
Alone to face this nightmare?
Before falling into the pit,
I reach for the light of rapture!
Breaking through the shroud
lights shine —
The smiling figure of my son
The blessing from the heavens.
Here I stand,
embraced and loved
I was not alone, hopeful,
my angels are always by my side.
* Idea was from “The Wonderful Adventures of Nils”, where the leader of Nils wild geese team tells wild geese that Nil’s goose is a wild goose but falls into flour. This is to show that the doctors are hiding their true thoughts (earn money) and it is obvious.
Author's Note
V lives with a number of conditions: seronegative arthritis, degenerative disc disease, polycystic ovary syndrome. Through speaking with her, I started to understand how these not only take a toll on the human body, but also on our emotions and finances. Worse, there are sometimes others who take advantage of such sickness by giving them expensive but ineffective treatments. Therefore, in my poem, I described V as someone who is dying on an island with crows waiting to feast on her.
However, I also saw how families can support people with autoimmune disease in tiding through their hard times. Her son gives her emotional support to live on, and was her light in this darkness. I thus hope that people who have family members with autoimmune diseases can pay more attention to them, not just physically, but emotionally too.