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Cheryl Bok

Choosing Grace: Living Well with Scleroderma


Cheryl Bok - Feel Your Feelings

Hi! I'm Cheryl - living in Singapore, near the Henderson Waves where you will find me enjoying the fresh morning breeze or sweating it out with a jog. I stay with my husband whom I have been married to seven years and I work in the field of workplace mental health and well-being programmes. My background includes roles in care advisory and experience projects within tech-driven care companies and long-term care institutions. I am also a certified Functional Medicine Health Coach and Mental Health First Aider. This passion for well-being extends to my advocacy for daily mindfulness, which I believe is a key element in strengthening our fundamental health and well-being.

In early 2019, I faced immense stress, anxiety and burn out from work. I was transiting to a new role as a team lead and ensuring strong performance at work was important for me. While I faced insomnia, gastric pain, frequent migraines and body aches, I still powered on and ignored the signs in my body, which lead to inflamed acne and pigmentation on my face, neck and back. My colleagues asked me if I was okay and I thought it probably was the occasional acne flare-up. I continued with the late nights at work, sleeping after 2 a.m. and skipping meals when busy at work.


One morning in February 2020, I woke up with a swollen right hand that looked "bruised" with a tint of purple-blue skin. I could barely lift my right hand, and I knew my blood circulation was probably affected. I went to the A&E that night and went through an MRI, CT scan and had 16 tubes of blood drawn to ensure we get to the bottom of the issue.


On the third day at the hospital, I was found to have three conditions - Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Systemic Sclerosis (Scleroderma). Honestly, I didn't think too much of it as I was given a cocktail of medication and was given instructions by my doctor to "go back, read and understand the conditions". I had zero knowledge about autoimmune diseases, and I was still able to function like a normal person, so I didn't think much about it. I know these are all stress-triggered disease, but I wouldn't expect stress to cause such adverse bodily reactions.


When things settled back home, I finally got down to understanding these conditions. A looming feeling started to grow inside me as I learned more about the diseases. The condition, Systemic Sclerosis, also known as scleroderma, is a rare, chronic autoimmune connective tissue disorder that causes degenerative changes and scarring in the skin, joints, and internal organs. Another characteristic of this condition is blood vessel abnormalities. Not only my skin and blood vessels were affected, but my lungs were also affected as there were ground-glass opacity found at the lower lobe of my left lung. It caused my lung capacity to decrease to almost less than 70% and I could feel parts of my skin tightening up. My mother, who was extremely worried, dug up some information from our family history. Through our extended family, she learned of a cousin whose friend had succumbed to Systemic Sclerosis just a few years after diagnosis. Additionally, a distant relative, diagnosed some twenty years ago, described the disease as "debilitating to his mobility and quality of life".


I was confused, fearful and uncertain. It was a dark place and an experience I had never encountered before. I am generally a positive person, but all these had made me spiral down the endless hole of negativity, unanswered questions and painful anguish. The ONLY hope was when the doctor mentioned that my condition was caught in the early stages and there is a chance for remission. I quit my job and started to work on the most important thing - myself. I work in healthcare, and I know the importance of early intervention for better health outcomes. I did sob and mob for about a month, after which I switched my mindset and put in place a routine and build my support system. Let me explain what it means:


1. Switching my mindset: Surrendering the uncertainties and anguish to a higher power.

2. Structured routine: Set my pace for the day with nutrient-dense food, exercise and journalling.

3. Build my support system: Identify the people in your life who can counsel, lift and support you. Social connections are important for our health and overall well-being. I went on the journey to healing and rediscovering what health and well-being means to me. I also stopped reading about the disease and lived my life as if I am already in remission. Stretching, meditating and taking daily walks were vital to my day. I went on to understand more about functional medicine which primarily focuses on root-cause approach and food as medicine. Through this exploration, I completed a year-long course with the Institute of Functional Medicine and became a certified Functional Medicine Health Coach.


Fast forward, it has now been four years battling the condition. Actually, I think 'battling' is the wrong word - it's more like I have thrived above the disease. My recent annual CT scan showed continued progress. I’ve weaned off two medications and am now only taking ONE tablet a day (used to be FOUR tablets). My lung capacity is now at 82% which is a praise report! Working in my current remote global role allows me to travel with my family and friends and help others through my functional medicine wellness clinic. Having an autoimmune disease has definitely made me more conscious about food choices. Choosing foods high in protein with anti-inflammatory properties is a priority for me. I also learned to adjust my mindset and the way I work so I control the way I respond to stress rather than letting it control me. I am thankful to God. Without God and His higher power, I wouldn't have paused. A pause I didn't know I needed, but it is so foundational to everything I have now. My husband, family and close friends played big roles in supporting me. They fuelled my journey to healing with prayers and understanding the space I need to heal and feel well again. They were always there when I needed them, and don't patronise me. Instead, they really try and understand how I feel and what can make me more comfortable. For those with autoimmune diseases, my advice is for you to take action as quick as you can. Early intervention is important, and I don't necessarily mean medically. It could also be small, daily lifestyle habits to add or remove for better health and well-being. Remember that stress is not a disease. It is our response to our inner and outer world. We are in full control of how we respond, so make a conscious choice every day to respond with friendliness, restfulness and grace.




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